Mattress firmness has become a key decision for many Canadian couples who want shared comfort without compromise. A single, fixed firmness often does not work when partners have different sleep needs, medical conditions, or body types. This guide connects personal comfort preferences with sleep science so couples can choose firmness options that support both individual and shared sleep.
Poor firmness choices can contribute to chronic pain, sleep disruption, and even “sleep divorce”, where couples move to separate beds or bedrooms. With a thoughtful approach to firmness, especially when combined with adjustable bed technology, couples can personalize comfort while still sharing a bed. Shop Leva Sleep’s adjustable beds to see how Canadian couples are improving their sleep together.

Understanding Mattress Firmness Beyond Soft or Firm
Effective firmness choices start with clear, objective measurements instead of vague marketing terms. Standard scales and lab testing give couples a shared language to compare options and avoid guesswork.
How the Mattress Firmness Scale Works
Mattress firmness is usually rated on a 1–10 scale, where 1 is extra soft and 10 is extra firm. This scale replaces loose labels like “plush” or “luxury firm” with a more consistent reference point. Medium firmness is commonly defined as about 6.5 out of 10, with 1 feeling extremely soft and 10 feeling extremely hard.
For couples, this scale provides a practical way to compare preferences. Extra soft (1–2) mattresses feel very plush with deep sink, soft (3–4) offers gentle cushioning, medium (5–6) feels balanced with moderate contouring, and firm (7–8) feels more solid with limited sink. Using these ranges, partners can describe what they like in clearer, more objective terms.
Objective Firmness Metrics: HA and ILD Values
Hardness Asker (HA) values and Indentation Load Deflection (ILD) scores provide more technical firmness measurements. HA testing has found approximate averages around 32.6 HA for soft, 64.6 HA for medium, and 83.8 HA for firm mattresses.
For latex mattresses, ILD ranges are often used: soft around 14–21, medium 24–29, medium-firm 30–37, and very firm 50 or higher. These measurements help couples compare products using data rather than relying only on feel in a showroom.
Firmness and Support Are Not the Same
Many couples assume a firmer mattress always offers better support, but these are separate qualities. A soft mattress can still be supportive, and a firm mattress can lack proper support.
Support is the mattress’s ability to keep the spine aligned and prevent the body from sinking into awkward positions. Firmness is the initial surface feel. Couples often need both good support and the right surface comfort, especially when one partner needs more pressure relief and the other needs stronger support. Adjustable beds with independent zones can help balance these needs by combining a supportive mattress with flexible positioning.
Matching Firmness to Your Sleep Profile and Your Partner’s
Choosing firmness works best when couples consider body weight, sleep position, medical needs, and how different preferences interact. Looking at these factors together leads to better results for both partners.
Balancing Pressure Relief and Spinal Alignment
Most firmness decisions come down to managing the trade-off between pressure relief and spinal alignment. Softer mattresses excel at relieving pressure but may not support heavier sleepers well, while firmer models improve alignment but can create pressure points for lighter people.
This balance becomes more complex when one partner is light and primarily a side sleeper and the other is heavier and sleeps on their back. For example, a 130-pound side sleeper often needs more cushioning at the hips and shoulders, while a 200-pound back sleeper may need a firmer surface to support the lower back. Standard flat mattresses often force one partner to compromise, but split adjustable bases allow each person to fine-tune their side for both relief and support.
How Body Weight and Sleep Position Influence Firmness
Body type and sleep position influence how firm a mattress should feel. Lighter people and side sleepers usually do well on softer mattresses in the 3–5 range, while heavier people and back or stomach sleepers often need firmer options in the 6–9 range.
Side sleepers often prefer soft to medium (4–6) mattresses, while back and stomach sleepers, as well as heavier individuals, generally need firmer models. Medium-firm to firm mattresses are typically recommended for people over 230 pounds and for stomach sleepers.
|
Sleep Position |
Recommended Firmness |
Body Weight Consideration |
Primary Benefit |
|
Side Sleeper |
3–6 (Soft to Medium) |
Lighter weights often need softer |
Pressure relief for hips and shoulders |
|
Back Sleeper |
5–7 (Medium to Firm) |
Works across most weights |
Spinal alignment support |
|
Stomach Sleeper |
6–9 (Medium-firm to Firm) |
Heavier weights often need firmer |
Helps prevent lower back strain |
|
Combination Sleeper |
5–6.5 (Medium to Medium-firm) |
Adjust by dominant position |
Balanced comfort and support |
When Partners Have Different Firmness Needs
Many couples have conflicting firmness preferences due to differences in body size, sleep position, or health conditions. Shared beds often require either compromise or dual-firmness solutions, and the ideal setup supports both pressure relief and alignment for each person.
On a traditional mattress, this often means one partner tolerates a less-than-ideal surface or the couple moves to separate beds. Split adjustable beds provide another option by allowing each partner to control their own side while still sharing one frame and one overall sleep space.
How Leva Sleep Helps Couples Personalize Firmness
Adjustable bed technology with independent control gives Canadian couples more ways to match firmness and positioning to their needs without giving up the benefits of sharing a bed.
Moving From Compromise to Customization
Many sleepers are comfortable in the medium to slightly firm range (around 5–7), which suits an estimated 80% of people. This range works well as a starting point but does not resolve all individual differences.
Medium-firm mattresses around 6–6.5 often provide a healthy balance of comfort and support. However, couples with significant weight differences, distinct sleep positions, or health needs may still need more tailored solutions. Split adjustable bases let each person fine-tune their side while using a shared mattress system.
Shop Leva Sleep’s adjustable beds to see how split-zone setups can help each partner find their preferred comfort and support level while still sharing a bed.
Why Leva Sleep Works Well for Canadian Couples
Leva Sleep’s Split Queen and Split King adjustable bases focus on independent control for each partner. These systems go beyond a basic flat mattress or simple head-lift frame by offering multiple customizable features.
The split design allows each side of the bed to move separately so partners can choose positions that support their own needs. This approach helps couples reduce firmness conflicts and align their sleep environment more closely with health and comfort goals.
Key Features That Support Better Sleep for Two
Leva Sleep integrates several features to help couples personalize their shared bed:
- Independent zone control: Split Queen and Split King bases use separate motors so each partner can adjust head and foot elevation on their own side. This helps match positioning to individual comfort, even with different firmness needs.
- Quiet motor operation: Whisper-quiet German motors support smooth adjustments with minimal noise, which can help limit sleep disruption when one partner changes position.
- App-based control: The Leva Sleep app lets couples save favourite positions and make fine adjustments from their devices, which supports easier experimentation with settings.
- Mattresses designed for adjustability: Leva all-foam and hybrid pocket coil mattresses are built to flex with adjustable bases while maintaining support, even at higher head or foot angles.
- Lumbar and pillow tilt options: On higher-end bases, added lumbar support and pillow tilt provide targeted adjustments for the lower back, neck, and shoulders.
Common Mattress Firmness Challenges for Couples
Even informed couples can run into problems when they try to fix firmness conflicts with quick fixes or incomplete solutions. Recognizing these patterns early can help guide better decisions.
Assessing Whether Your Current Bed Still Works
Before investing in a new mattress or adjustable base, it helps to review how your current setup is performing. Couples can look at factors such as:
- Pain and discomfort patterns: Track where and when each partner feels pain, stiffness, or numbness for 2–4 weeks. Mattresses that are too soft or too firm can contribute to or worsen lower back pain over time.
- Sleep quality: Pay attention to how often each person wakes, tosses and turns, or feels unrested. Conflicting firmness needs can show up as constant position changes or frequent awakenings.
- Relationship impact: Notice whether sleep issues are creating tension, leading to separate beds, or reducing time spent together at night. Sleep quality often affects daytime mood and communication.
- Medical recommendations: Review advice from healthcare providers about sleep positions or elevation for conditions such as sleep apnea, reflux, hip or knee pain, and consider whether your current bed can support those guidelines.
Common Mistakes When Choosing Firmness as a Couple
Certain patterns often lead to disappointing results when couples try to solve firmness problems:
- “Split the difference” choices: Picking a single medium firmness as a compromise often fails to meet either partner’s actual needs. Very soft or very firm mattresses are rarely recommended, since they can reduce either comfort or support, and a one-size middle-ground choice can also miss the mark.
- Focusing only on price: Choosing a mattress based strictly on cost while ignoring long-term comfort and support can contribute to chronic pain and reduced sleep quality. Medium-firm surfaces often support spinal health and reduce musculoskeletal pain, but those benefits depend on the right match for each person.
- Ignoring system compatibility: Buying an adjustable base or topper without considering mattress compatibility, noise, or long-term durability can result in limited adjustability or premature wear.
- Overlooking bedding details: Adjustable setups may need fitted sheets, protectors, and accessories designed to stay in place with movement and elevation, especially on split configurations.
Leva Sleep as a Canadian Partner in Shared Sleep
Leva Sleep focuses on helping Canadian couples manage firmness and positioning differences through adjustable bed systems built for shared use.
Its direct-to-consumer model and vertical integration support the use of quality components at lower prices than many traditional high-end brands, often in the range of 30–50% less. This pricing approach makes advanced adjustable systems more accessible to couples who want better customization without luxury-level markups.
The emphasis on couple-centred solutions, including a Split Queen option that is rare in Canada, gives households with limited space more flexibility. Split Queen beds support independent control while fitting into rooms designed for standard queen frames.
Optional white-glove delivery and setup services help couples avoid the complexity of assembling adjustable bases on their own. Professional installation can reduce setup time and ensure the system performs as intended.
Shop Leva Sleep’s adjustable beds to explore how couples across Canada are addressing firmness conflicts while still sharing a bed.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) About Mattress Firmness and Adjustable Beds
What is the ideal mattress firmness for couples with different sleep preferences?
There is no single firmness that suits every couple with different needs. Side sleepers usually benefit from softer surfaces in the 3–6 range for pressure relief, while back and stomach sleepers often need firmer support around 5–8. Split adjustable beds let each partner adjust their side independently and use positioning to fine-tune comfort. This approach reduces the need for a single compromise firmness and helps each person get closer to their ideal surface while still sharing a bed.
How does adjustable bed positioning change how firmness feels?
Adjustable beds change how firmness feels by shifting pressure distribution and body angles. Raising the head can ease pressure on the lower back and improve breathing comfort, while slight knee elevation can reduce strain on the hips and lumbar area. Features such as lumbar support and pillow tilt add more targeted adjustments for the lower back, neck, and shoulders. These changes can make the same mattress feel more supportive, softer, or more pressure-relieving, depending on how each side is positioned.
How do medical conditions like sleep apnea or chronic pain affect firmness needs?
Medical conditions often shape firmness and positioning requirements. People with sleep apnea may benefit from elevated head positions that help keep airways open. Those with chronic pain, especially in the lower back, hips, or knees, may need specific angles to reduce pressure and support alignment. Adjustable beds allow these settings to be changed as symptoms improve or fluctuate, which can be helpful after surgery or during rehabilitation. Many healthcare providers recognize the practical advantages of adjustable positioning when managing symptoms and supporting rest.
What should Canadian couples weigh when deciding between Split Queen and Split King adjustable beds?
Couples can start by looking at room size, personal space preferences, and long-term needs. Split Queen beds offer independent adjustments within a smaller footprint that fits most standard queen bedrooms and many condos. They work well for couples who want customization but prefer sleeping closer together or have limited space. Split King beds provide more width and a higher degree of independence, which can help when partners have very different sleep schedules, medical needs, or body sizes. Doorway width, existing furniture, and future plans such as downsizing or moving to an urban condo are also worth considering. Both sizes use similar technology, so the choice mainly depends on space and preference for closeness versus extra room.
How do adjustable beds with specialized mattresses compare to mattress toppers for firmness changes?
Adjustable beds with compatible mattresses provide a broader range of solutions than standard mattress toppers. Toppers mainly change surface feel across the entire bed, which can be a challenge when partners need different levels of softness or support. They can also bunch, shift, or affect temperature. Adjustable bases paired with mattresses designed for flexing allow each partner to change position, elevation, and targeted support independently. This setup can help with pressure relief, alignment, and medical positioning throughout the night, which is beyond what most toppers can offer.
Invest in Better Sleep and a Stronger Partnership with Leva Sleep
Mattress firmness compatibility plays a meaningful role in sleep quality, spinal health, and relationship comfort. Couples in Canada no longer have to choose strictly between individual comfort and sleeping together in the same bed. Adjustable beds with independent control support both priorities at once.
Leva Sleep offers Split Queen and Split King adjustable configurations designed for couples, along with mattresses that work well on adjustable bases. Features such as quiet motors, app-based control, and tailored mattress designs create a coordinated system that adapts to changing needs over time.
With cost savings compared to many high-end competitors, plus optional white-glove delivery and setup, these systems give couples a practical way to upgrade their sleep environment. For many households, this makes personalized sleep more attainable than it was with previous generations of adjustable beds.
As more Canadian couples focus on long-term health and relationship wellbeing, adjustable bed technology provides a clear path to more customized and comfortable shared sleep.
Shop Leva Sleep’s adjustable beds to explore options that support both your sleep and your relationship by aligning firmness, support, and positioning for two.